Douglas imagines Governor Abiola Ajimobi writing a letter to LAUTECH students after their protestand the backlash after the release of the SAHARA
Reporters video . This letter explains his stand, so as to clear up the obvious confusion.
***
Dear Incorrectly Disgruntled LAUTECH student, I wish I could hope this met you in excellent
spirits, but I am well aware you are quite upset at the moment.
However, I am fairly confident that after you read this letter, you will feel much better and we can resume our relationship as Daddy and Loyal
Subject. In 2011, you were part of those who elected me
as Governor of Oyo State. In 2015, you returned me once again to the office – breaking the jinx of
Oyo State Governors serving only one term. We have been in this together now for 5 and a half
years. Surely, after all this time you understand the terms of engagement. But I’m sure last week
was just a misunderstanding though I was deeply saddened.
First, you know that you did not elect me to serve you; this is not why I’m here. I was not sworn in to provide for mundane things like an allocation for your education, increasing the literacy rate,
paying the salaries of your lecturers, or any civilbservant for that matter, or contributing to the management of your school. No. It pains me that you do not remember. I am here for just a few humble reasons, to which
you agreed when you elected me. To acquire power and public wealth. To use it to the benefit of my friends and family. My daughters – God
bless their hearts – make urgent, pressing requests of me for things like a $15,304 Marchesa
dress or that other $3,321 Tom Ford dress. A father must not say no to his daughters. Moving on, if you also recall, I held up to my end of the bargain last campaign cycle. During the election rounds, in my generousity and magnanimity, I shared with you Ijebu Garri and
Rice, branded in the finest quality of graphics, my honourable picture and nylon bags. You had free food for a whopping total of several campaign
days. I’m sure your memory is coming round now.Second, I do not like the way you reacted when I
said schools being closed indefinitely is nothing
new. You behaved as if I lied. As recently as July 2016, Kogi State University, Obafemi Awolowo
University and Niger Delta University were all on indefinite strikes. Though one or two of them may have resumed now, but that’s not an important detail.
Yes, there was some discomfort but their students did not accost their governors – and caught on tape – to demand for anything. They spent that time off adequately. They had more time for their Facebook accounts, sharing funny videos, posting comments on blogs, trying out technological advancements of picture filtering. Third, I am the constituted authority of Oyo State.
I apologize that I had to remind you. You know I am to be spoken to gently at all times, called
different terms of endearment like Oga, Daddy, and Baba. This is how we have always shown each other love. But I do forgive you for
momentarily forgetting. It was quite hot that day you were out. You were confused by the humid weather, incorrectly exerting energy demanding for things.
Lastly, don’t mind the armchair activists saying I was ‘inciting violence’ by telling you to ‘do your
worst’. It is such an unkind thing to say. They do not mean us well. They do not know now that
that’s how we have dialogued with each other forbyears now, and you have with Governors that came before me and other senior leaders.
Now, I am sure you see things a little more clearly now that I have taken great pains to explain. You do not need to thank me. I was only
doing my bit as your Daddy and Governor.
I must now leave you. It seems I may have to write a similar letter to the civil servants who have are incorrectly disgruntled, making claims on some of the state money in my care. Funny lot!
Take care. Continue to enjoy your rest at home!
About Do Better with Douglas
Douglas is a civil servant but
this was not the plan. He
convinced his parents to
invest their elusive pensions in a private university education. He made sacrifices too.
He tucked in every day, wore ties, ate tofu, attended church four times a week, listened to sermons probably drafted on private jets. He
even graduated top of his class. At the end of it all the return was supposed to be a great
job, regular salaries, workplace oppression bybbosses who could actually write a sentence in
proper English. But now he is a civil servant.
Since the universe didn't keep to its end of its bargain, he won't either. He resumes work at the Secretariat at 11am, on excellent days.
Closes 3.30Pm sharp. In between watching Africa Magic And gossiping with Folake in the
next office, he writes things like this.
